Be Scene: The Haute 5 Nightclubs in L.A.

Isn’t it funny how the same song, heard in two completely different contexts, can make you feel two entirely opposite ways?  For example, when the Black Eyed Peas’ song “I’ve Got a Feeling” comes on while you’re sitting in rush hour traffic on the 405 heading home to yet another couple hours of work, you feel like your radio is mocking you.  Yet, when that veritable genius of a DJ plays the same song in your favorite nightclub, you sing every word and are, in fact, convinced that “tonight’s gonna be a good, good night.”  We’re here to make sure you have a tres good night, which is why we’ve compiled a tres convenient list of LA’s 5 chicest clubs.   It’s one less thing for you to enter into an Excel spreadsheet and it should give you that much more time to decide between the big gold earrings or the sequined dress.

Voyeur

West Hollywood’s newest corset, leather, and other trap door lingerie-inspired den, Voyeur, has an inescapable link to Eyes Wide Shut – women in various states of undress line the club, some hanging from the ceiling above you in nets (equipped with whips, so watch yourself), and a photo booth to document the whole thing are just the tip of the iceberg.  Around the room, you can catch men and women undulating (er, dancing) in cages, the décor distinctly feels as if you’re unveiling something naughty, and you’re met with a constant stream of various erotic multimedia like film clips and risqué photography.  Sorry to have gotten you all worked up at the office.

Voyeur is located at 7969 Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood  (310) 255-1111

Wonderland

Okay, so Friday night at 2am may not be the time you most often think of children’s books or flights of fancy.  (Fancy flights, on the other hand…) That all changed last year when Wonderland opened in Hollywood.  Bringing to the fore, yet again, the storied tumble Alice took into a fantastical world of imaginative shapes and characters, Wonderland mixes the fantasy, as it should, with liquor and dancing.  With whimsical accents like diagonal bookshelves, Mad Hatter silhouettes, and an array of crazy clocks, ordering a Tweedle Dee, a Mad Hatter, or a Red Pill won’t seem like a joke.  Are you ready to take a fall down the rabbit hole?

Wonderland is located at 1835 N. Cahuenga Blvd. in Hollywood (323) 957-1599

The Abbey

Sometimes, you just want to dance.  Good thing one of LA’s best places to cut footloose happens to have a sinfully good drinks menu, an enormous outdoor courtyard, and serves a pretty delicious brunch to cure the hangover they gave you.  The Abbey, an iconic gay club in West Hollywood, employs seriously talented DJs and bartenders who’ve got a conveniently heavy hand with the tequila.  Make no mistake; once the space turns into a club at night, there isn’t an inch of it that’s not a dance floor and there isn’t a chance you’ll leave without a great story added to your armory – gay, straight, or asexual, The Abbey is some good old fashioned (Madonna-fueled) fun.

The Abbey is located at 692 Robertson Blvd. in West Hollywood  (310) 289-8410

My House

You wish you had a house like this.  Or maybe you’d rather your friend had a house like this, I mean, imagine the cleanup! My House Hollywood really is designed as just that, a house, outside of which there is a constant line on the lawn and a set of bouncers repeating that “we’ve hit capacity.”  Complete with a bedroom, a kitchen, and an oversized living room or two, you’ll be singing along to your favorite Bob Sinclair song without someone asking you to take the trash out in the background.  The kitchen is the place to be at the end of the night, though, they bake fresh chocolate chip cookies for their “guests” to take on the road.  Such thoughtful friends you have!

My House is located at 7080 Hollywood Blvd. in Hollywood (323) 960-3300

Guys and Dolls

Looking for a chic, small little spot in West Hollywood where you can dance beneath oversized chandeliers as you order yet another Dolled Up (Gin, Tonic, Rosemary, Lime, and Orange) or perhaps swing for a Paolista (Caipirinha with Passion Fruit, Licor 43, and Cachaca)?  Look no further than Guys and Dolls. What was once the quiet lounge Guys is now a renovated masterpiece of a nightclub.  If you’ve got a table, which is probably the case, knowing you, get up and dance on top of the booths.  It’s easier for everyone to hear you yell “Where Brooklyn at?” from up there anyway.  It may be small, but the club really packs a punch and this is definitely a place to see and be seen.  That is, if you like to see and be seen by the likes of Rihanna and Justin Timberlake.

Guys and Dolls is located at 8713 Beverly Blvd. in West Hollywood (310) 360-0290