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The holidays are over, now what?
First, congratulate yourself that you made it through the holidays. Often holidays are quite emotional and there is plenty of opportunity to create havoc between different family members. Now what? If you are in the middle of a divorce or thinking about getting divorced, try as hard as you can to get back to a normal routine.
Money and children do not mix. Sometimes these are intertwined and sometimes they are not. Obviously if you do not have children, then the matter is simply about finances. If, however, you have children, they should not be a part of any financial discussions with your spouse and especially any financial issues regarding any Court proceedings.
The children should be kept out of the financial aspect of the divorce. I was involved in a case in which the father was four months behind in child support. The day before the contempt hearing the father sent a text to the children advising them that he would not be seeing them this weekend because their mother was putting him in jail, even though he told the children that he was giving the mother child support. This, by the way, was not true. He had not provided her with any child support for months. Naturally, when we found this out, we advised the Judge who directed the father not to text the children about the financial issues between them. Now, the father is texting the children that he will see them if mommy returns the money that she took from him.
I am certain that when we go before the Judge next time, that she will chastise the father again. The father, of course, thinks he is right and perhaps he even thinks that this will put pressure on the mother to return the money. The money was Court ordered. The mother did not take the money and the money is for child support. Perhaps the father thinks that this will somehow ingratiate the children to him or perhaps he wants the children to hate their mother.
Either way, it is not in the children’s best interest to be surrounded with this type of dissension. Additionally, if either party continues to violate the Court order, rest assured the Judge will remember. As such, when it comes to other issues that come before the same Judge, whose orders you have just ignored, it is likely that the Court will remember who you are and what you have done. Remember, the Judge is always watching.
