Robert Pattinson Really Wants A Hot Dog

We’ve all got our culinary guilty pleasures and Robert Pattinson’s is a New York hot dog.

In a new short film titled titled Fear and Shame – which he directed and stars in –  an over dramatic Pattinson digresses into a hunger-fueled monologue that focuses on New York’s most famous street food. He calls the awaiting paparazzi below a “gauntlet of trolls” and debates leaving his “anonymous hotel room” in search of food. “I must be hungry,” he pants. “I always get these thoughts when I’m hungry.” We’ve all been there; so hungry that everything looks and feels like it might consume you much the way an oversized bun on a delicate little hot dog does.

“This city is a labyrinth designed to mock me,” the hangry star continues. Eventually, the internal conflict eventually leads him to the streets of the Big Apple in search of sustenance.

The camera follows as the starving star goes from subway to park to the safe confines of an Uber in search of a wiener, all along debating with his internal self on just how to get it donen while remaining incognito. “There are ways to disappear, like, fairly easily,” he said in an accompanying interview. “It just involves effort, and most people can’t be bothered to put the effort in.”

Pattinson knows New York well. For his most recent role as “Connie, a petty criminal with dubious morals, redeemed only by his devotion to his intellectually disabled brother” in Good Times, he spent several months in the City exploring, examining and becoming part of the culture. He died his hair blond and even got a few piercings.

Photo Credit: GQ

The short film, which serves as a companion piece to his presence on the September cover of GQ, aims to explain his theory that that after all the hoopla of Twilight, private lives should really be kept private and now he is much more reserved when it comes to opening up in interviews.

“I always think the risk reward is very much weighted in the wrong direction. If I could stay silent, I would.” But in this case, he could not stay hungry.

In the end, Rob finds himself at Gray’s Papaya where he double fists a couple of loaded dogs in triumph of what seems like a tedious act to those of us who get to eat without that “gauntlet of trolls” following our every move.

“I’ve done it, I’ve done it,” he celebrates. “A New York hot dog. I found it myself. I knew it. I knew I was just a normal human being.”