Janice Roven has nearly 40 years of experience with practicing law and she makes a point to provide strength, compassion and the wisdom of personal experience to all clients.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
Here, Janice Roven explains the ins and outs of Post-Divorce Euphoria.
You finally have your divorce judgement and you have a feeling of euphoria – that is, until the first real issue rears its ugly head. You are no longer living together, so the day-to-day stressors are gone. Now that there is some time and space from each other, you are sure you will be able to work through the issues. Perhaps you will. However, many people experience post-divorce issues. When there is a post-divorce issue, the first question that must be addressed is, what does the agreement, stipulation or order say? A problem can arise if the agreement, stipulation or order is silent on an issue.
You will probably end up back in Court if you cannot agree with your ex-spouse. It is critical that you read the agreement. It is critical that the agreement is specific as to small issues and major issues. For example, are you seeing your child on your birthday? If you are splitting medical costs, does that mean you are splitting the deductible? If one of you has final decision-making on medical, does that mean that this parent has final decision making on the child wanting to take drugs to change their gender? While it is almost impossible to predict what the post-divorce issues will be, chances are that if you did not agree on issues during the marriage, you are not going to agree on the solutions after you are divorced. The goal is to minimize the post-divorce conflict by creating an agreement that is so specific that few issues can arise after the divorce. As you are going through the process of the divorce, it will be easier for you to sign an agreement or enter a stipulation which does not address certain issues. While you can certainly ignore an issue and hope it does not arise, I would not recommend it. I strongly suggest that signing an agreement or stipulation just to get the process over, may not serve you in the long run.
It is critical that you identify what you anticipate the issues to be and whether you anticipate that you will be able to work through the issues with your ex-spouse. No one is happy to return to Court, post-divorce, to clean up issues that should have been cleared up prior to the divorce. Take your time in creating a stipulation or agreement that will work for you so that you can maintain your post-divorce euphoria.
