Haute Auto: Bull vs. Stallion

bullvsstallion.jpg

FADE IN

EXT. INTERSECTION – DAY

A hilltop on the widest of open spaces on the hottest day of the year. Look a hundred miles in every cottonweed tumbling direction and there’s nothing. Suddenly, entering from opposite ends of the screen, two forms emerge, moving so fast they seem to materialize out of thin air. As they head directly at one another they come into full view. We see that one is a white Lamborghini, the other a red Ferrari.

They’re playing chicken. And it’s evident neither one is going to back down.

Just as they’re about to make impact, each of these supreme masterworks throws a handbrake U-turn-they skid to a nose-to-nose halt. Engines REV. Pirelli P Zero tires burn rubber. Each one has one headlight up and one down in a squint. They examine and size up one another, wondering who’ll make the move, until the Lambo speaks up.

DON GALLARDO
Come stai? Hey…how ya doin. Don Gallardo of the Lamborghinis.

DON SCUDERIA
(blows steam from the grille)
Hey…how ya been. Don Scuderia of the Ferrari family.

DON GALLARDO
I was told they’d be sending the regular f430 Spider coupe.

DON SCUDERIA
Yeah well I’m the brother, the stripped out and F1 track-inspired 430 Scuderia, with 20 more horsepower, a lot less weight, insane handling, and a superfast gearbox. And if truth be told, I was expecting the standard Gallardo model.

DON GALLARDO
Our family is going in a slightly different direction. I’m the 2009 Gallardo LP560-4, with a new engine that has 39 more horsepower that’s shaved 0.2 seconds of the sprint speed of my predecessor.

DON SCUDERIA
There’s been too much twisted metal between our two families. I’m here to say we have to celebrate the fact that we both contribute to a cultural identity derived from the unique romanticism that only a true Italian supercar can offer.

DON GALLARDO
Wanna say that in English, Einstein? Whatsamaddaforyou. Stugotz.

DON SCUDERIA
Mi scusi, Don Gallardo. What I’m sayin is, we’re works of art. And we gotta respect each other that way. Capice?

DON GALLARDO
(excited)
Capisco benissimo-I understand perfectly. Like I’m like, uh, Botticelli’s Birth of Venus.

DON SCUDERIA
Exactly. You’re a classic composition that packs a big punch; a metaphor of the fragility and defenselessness of us all in front of the powerful tempest of nature, yet one of such incontestable beauty that’s closer to a musical melody than your typical sports car. So what about me?

DON GALLARDO
Well, if I had to say, you know, if it came down to it, you, you’re like the Mona Lisa.

DON SCUDERIA
Heyyyy, who you callin’ femmina?

DON GALLARDO
I mean no disrespect, Don Scuderia. All I’m sayin is you got this kinda mystery wrapped in an enigma kind thing. You’re an untouchable born from F1. A metaphysical dimension still open to many interpretations. For example, one of your outstanding elements is your simple equation of more power and less weight. Freakin genius over here. Everything is placed with a sense of purpose and a logical relation among them. So, you wanna race?

DON SCUDERIA
Nah, not each other. Let’s break bread together.

DON GALLARDO
You wanna go for some Italian?

DON SCUDERIA
I’m thinking more like German.

DON GALLARDO
German?

DON SCUDERIA
Yeah, I already had an Alfa for breakfast. I’m kinda in the mood for a little Porsche. Think you can keep up?

DON GALLARDO
Keep up? Fuhgettaboutit.
They both laugh as they ZOOM away in the same direction and quickly

FADE TO WHITE

THE END

Technical Specifications

Gallardo LP560-4
430 Scuderia

Maker
Lamborghini
Ferrari

msrp
$201,000
$282,306

Standard Engine
5.2L V10
4.3L V8

Standard Transmission
6 Speed Clutchless Manual
Automatic 6 Speed with Manual Mode

Max Horsepower@RPM
560@8000
510@8500

Max Torque@RPM
540@6500
470@5250

0-62
3.7
3.6

0-124
11.8
11.6

Top Speed
202mph
198mph

Wheel base
100.8 inches
102.4 inches

Overall Length
171.1 inches
177.6 inches

Width
74.8 in
75.7 inches

Height
45.9 in
47.2 inches

curb Weight
3307 lbs.
2975 lbs.

Tires/Wheel Size
P235/35ZR19
P235/35R19

Rear Tires/Wheel Size
P295/30ZR19
P285/35R19

Drivetrain
AWD
RWD

Brakes
steel
carbon ceramic

Fuel Capacity
23.8 Gal
25.1 Gal